Watch? No bin it!

These are thebad, awful, dreadful, atrocious African movies that you have had the MISFORTUNE of watching would not recommend to anyone. The kind that need a red warning label plastered across the front of them.
This category is for Nollywood African movies rated between 0-35%. Whether the movie is rated 0 or rated 35, you can pretty much acertain that these movies suck balls and deserve to be binned. Pulling your eyelashes out one by one would be better than watching this. This is the kind of movie that you wouldn't even be able to pay someone to take off your hands. It would be an utter waste of time. If you buy this movie after you have come here and been warned then you deserve everything you get. As they say, "A word is enough for the wise!"

Vlog – Amina

Amina

Amina is played by Omotola Jalade Ekeinde who finds herself incarcerated in a mental hospital after suffering a series of life changing events. The only person who can help her is her psychologist played by Wil Johnson, who must overcome his own demons before he can help Amina confront her past. The psychologist happens to be a raging alcoholic with his own issues. Nolly Galore video reviews the movie Amina starring Omotola Jalade Ekeinde and Wil Johnson, which premiered in Leicester Square, October 2012. For the purposes of this review it is labelled Nollywood but the film really wasn’t except it had a Nollywood actress and a Ngierian director there was nothing Nigerian about the movie. It was set in the UK and Omotola was actually meant to be British even though she had a Nigerian accent. *sigh*

Save My Pride

Eve Esin and Mike

Bill played by Mike Ezuruonye is an armed robber who robs a student at gunpoint after following her to a cashpoint and entering her car. It turns out that this same girl is his girlfriend’s sister and their mother has just died. They come face to face again in a chance meeting at a restaurant. As she flees the restaurant in shock he follows her in an attempt to reconcile. She is unflinching in her refusal to accept his apology. Will she reveal to her sister that he is an armed robber?

Wind Of Tears

Wind Of Tears

Charles played by Kenneth Okonkwo is a football coach leading his team into a big tournament. He has cancer, a fact that he has hid from his family. He has recently found out that his kidney is free from cancer leaving him able to donate it to his brother Franklin who is in dire need of it. His wife Chidi played by Mercy Johnson is vehemently against his choice fearing that he may lose his life in the process.

The Lamb

The Lamb

Prince Derek played by Yul Edochie is heartbroken because the only woman that he ever loved got pregnant and died at childbirth. The circumstances surrounding the pregnancy are unknown. His kinsmen are demanding that he get married soon but it is the furthest thing from his mind. Chioma played by Mercy Johnson is married to a drunk who appears to be impotent. They are childless and both frustrated by it. Ogugua is Chioma’s 15 year old niece. She is being sexually abused by her father and soon her mother and aunt hatch a shocking plan that only adds trouble to the young girl’s condition.

Blood On Fire

Blood On Fire

Akamas played by John Okafor is wooing Felicia played by Queen Wokoma. She appears to be the perfect woman and Akamas is even the envy of his good friend Ebuka played by Junior Pope. Seeing their relationships makes junior want his own perfect woman. He wants to get married. However felicia isn’t the angel she appears to be and that soon becomes apparent when John loses his money in a bad deal and her attitude towards him changes completely. Ikenna played by Zubby Michael has just found out that he suffers from sickle cell anaemia and blames his parents for “bringing me into this world to suffer.” He becomes rebellious and violent towards his parents making their life a living hell.

Professor Mama G

Professor Mama G

It is so hard to give the synopsis of a movie when you as a reviewer cannot make heads nor tail to the movie. This is a pre-warning so that you know from now that for the most part I did not know what was going on in this movie. In the first scene we see two youth corpers acting lovey dovey in a room and then the “6 years later” flashes up and we see Mama G in a graduation gown having her picture taken. How does that correlate I wonder? How the hell you do “6 years later” and nothing has even happened! I do know that Mama goes back to school as an adult that’s about all I know.

Black Town

Black Town

Ben is a lawyer born and brought up in Black Town and currently on death row for multiple murder charges. Black Town in Ghana is a ghetto that has been neglected by the government The movie details Ben’s journey to prison. The story starts with Big Joe, a representative of a Russian Cocaine cartel that specialises in trafficking Cocaine from South America to Africa. Big Joe was Ben’s only client. When Big Joes money is stolen in a street robbery Black Town is thrown into disarray, everybody from common street thugs to the chief of police is trying to get their hands on the money for themselves.

Obama Babes

Obama Babes

Kelsee, Winnie and Clara played by Uche Jombo, Chika Ike and Ify Ejikeme work in an office run by their iron lady of a boss Barbara played by Mona Lisa Chinda. Chika is at risk of losing her job for not securing enough clients. Meanwhile Kelsee is the star of the team securing big clients using her feminine wiles. Her cousin Murphy suspects that she succeeds professionally because she is a cultist and so Winnie makes it her mission to find out what the tattoo on her neck is. Her nosiness means that she has now seen the “mark of the winning team” which is the cult tatto and must now be part of them.

Games Married Women Play

Games Married Women Play

In Games Married Women Play Funke ends up reuniting with some old friends after accidentally crashing into the car of one. They had lost contact years back but had been living in the same city for many years without knowing. After reuniting the two women introduce each other to other long lost friends from their school days.

Jewels Of The Sun

Jewels Of The Sun

A group of men played by Artus Frank, Mike Ezuruonye, Emeka Ike and Browny Igboegwu join a cult to make money but have to sell their souls in order to get in. Kenny has been instructed to kill his wife Nneka played by Mercy Johnson and Frank is busy sleeping with some Princess played by KLinda Chinyere from “the other side” while he and Duncan fight over any money neither of them can claim ownership of.

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